In the fair country of Australia, a place still rebounding from the “shock” federal election victory for the horrible ‘conservatives’ on May 18, there are dark forces at work. Those dark forces have inspired the promotion of mass animal sacrifice to hold onto power.
It’s ‘black magic’ – pure evil. Worse than suburban satanism by a long margin.
Let me explain.
Pundits, journalists and other media types have been struggling to explain the election results, blaming far-right micro-parties, the false promise of thousands of jobs from a ridiculous coal mine project in Queensland, the personality (or otherwise) of the opposition leader, etc.
They’re all wrong.
There has been, since 2013, a growing fanaticism with the humble sausage in bread. For promotional purposes it was given the moniker of the ‘democracy sausage‘, and was quickly hash-tagged (#democracysausage).
Prior to this social media adoption and marketing program there was, of course, a long history of the ‘sausage sizzle’ being present at polling places all around the country, as is the norm at many community events, whether political in origin or not. But it was only in that year of the election of Tony Abbott (widely regarded as the worst PM in Australian history) that the democracy sausage craze kicked into gear. And I posit that this is an intentional coincidence, enacted through the exponentially increased human consumption of slaughtered sentient beings on election day.
A mass sacrifice to whatever evil entity right-wing ideologues and/or their masters bow down before. Let’s say it’s Ba’al Zebub (Beelzebub, if you like) – the ‘Fly Lord’, or Lord of the Flies…
The carnivores and omnivores of the public engaged as the conduits of the sacrifice.
Since 2013, the Liberal National coalition government has been in power. There have been 3 elections, 3 different Prime Ministers via 2 internal coups, and a plethora of terrible and inhuman policies favouring the rich and their status quo at the expense of progress in general and at the self-serving and cynical detriment of the planet.
Since 2013, the fad of the #democracysausage has been amped up and given even wider exposure than the preceding election at every opportunity.
Since 2013, the presence of sausage sizzles at polling places has increased dramatically, enhancing the effects of the dark magic by virtue of increased engagement and flesh-consumption.
And this year, 2019, the ‘democracy sausage’ went to the next level. A certain social media platform (Twitter) created an emoji that automatically appended itself to hashtags related to the election.
I want you think about that. A Twitter emoji would be appended with or without consent to millions of tweets about the election.
I want you think about that while imagining yourself as a vegetarian or a vegan.
I want you to understand the evil intent that is overt in this action.
A symbol of a thing can be, in a voodoo kind of way, as powerful or impactful as the actual thing.
So, in addition to all the meat-tubes being consumed to the glory of the #democracysausage and the associated and inherent blood offering being made to Ba’al Zebub, there were, this year, millions of additional representations of said meat-tubes. Many of the unwilling carriers of these representations will have been plant-eaters and fruitarians, no doubt.
Think about the potential boost an evil-doer and his or her Fly Lord might garner out of forcing vegans and vegetarians to celebrate the consumption of intelligent animal components.
With all that evil energy pent up, the daft throngs of compelled voters cast their ballots under the thrall of a hyper-animated Ba’al Zebub, in favour of policies against their actual self-interest, and against that of their country and also of their planet. Dumb fucks…
That’s what won the unwinnable election for the horrible Australian Tories.
It’s just a theory. But better than any other I’ve heard.
Yours in the service of great and powerful insects,