New original continuated stream-of-consciousness intoxicated fiction or is it fiction… Who knows where this is going? Nobody. I’m just gonna spill it and then stop. Enjoy. WB
©ONVERSATIONS WITH THE UNIVERSE – continued
Time has always been meaningless. This became completely apparent; and I’m aware now, as I was then, that that sentence cannot make any sense whatsoever because something without meaning cannot really have dominion over something as OMNI as The Universe.
And double negatives and contradictions and etcetera.
But there are rules that govern how the artificial construct of time is imposed onto matter, and these cannot be broken without first severing oneself from matter. And nobody could possibly explain that. No-one.
But that’s what had happened to me as I did nothing more than exist as a mindful concept with my arachnid friend, the nameless spider, in my warm and loving non-existence on a journey of immense everything.
*The reader here must acknowledge that explanations of what transpired while The Universe and I were sharing this state simply cannot adequately describe it/them/anything. Words, themselves a crude and primitive method of communication… Words just don’t cut it – at least, not the words spoken with instruments of flesh. But that is all we have here, so I’ll persist.
In the embrace of the top-hat-wearing Universal Tour Guide spider – far more appealing in non-matter reality than anyone could imagine – for a micro-second or so, probably (and if that even has any meaning at all), I was ‘transported’ through a billion or more coincident Universes and saw and felt and understood everything that had ever happened or will happen everywhere in all of them forever. And all of them began, and died and were re-born as a result of an idea generated within themselves; or call it a thought, or call it a word, or The Word, or Intelligence, or Desire, or Love, or ‘God’. And it was continuous and ongoing, and it had really been happening forever and not had a beginning or a bang or a god, at all. It just was because nothing cannot exist because there can be no such thing as nothing – as long as there is anything there will be everything.
Matter cannot exist without life and life creates and manipulates matter in order to continue living and producing new life from matter, onto and into matter. Matter yearns to live and life wants more life because life is thought and ideas and experience and creation and there is no higher state of goodness.
In so many ways the old mantra of us all being star-dust or made of stars is the truth. But all of the important things that really drive life and matter are INSIDE and AROUND and WITHIN and INFUSED THROUGHOUT the things we can see/feel/detect/observe. Whether it’s quanta or strings or sub-quark or grand united theory of irrelativity, give it any name you like, the force and the energy and the structure and the framework of everything known and unknown is only the invisible drive of life using matter for its own ends.
All of these things made sense to me; just as they would never make sense to a dogmatic scientist or priest. For those shallow and closed minds the mere prospect of these things has dark connotations and deprives them of the comfort derived from their beliefs.
And the spider spoke then. “All of everything is just thoughts from futures and the futures of your thoughts. We’re all creating our own histories and building new Universes. Every time you die, an infinite number of other versions of you continue to live in an infinite number of other Universes. Try to remember that. We’ll be seeing each other again some day, always, in countless ways, unless you crush me underfoot in that particular Universe…”
“Speaking of which, what’s a spider ever done to you, anyway..?”
With that, my entire being felt as though it was being vacuumed back into itself and squeezed in a galaxy-sized vice, and I was flooded with what felt like the panicked heat and pressure of needing to breathe but being unable to. I was in darkness for what seemed like a full minute until I remembered that I had eyes that needed to be open in order to see, and when I re-learned how to do just that I saw that I was back inside a flesh body with sweat pouring from every part of it, and the reflex to bring great volumes of air into the lungs finally kicked in.
I was alive, in this Universe. At least, I think I was. Or was this now another?
Lifted to my feet by other humans who I couldn’t readily remember but loved so much, I was guided to a seat outside in the crisp late-autumn air and given some water to drink. As memories and clarity began slowly to return to the brain inside my head, it occurred to me that there was already so much of the rich detail of this journey missing from my recall, and that maybe I would lose it all and that it might all have been for nothing…
and a large black spider, about the size of a large hand, ran across my right foot, leapt over and onto my left foot, and bit hard into my flesh with fangs that felt like hot nails. It scurried off me and then slowly, and very deliberately, walked away.
T.B.C… one day…