Mark down March 19, 2015 as the date that total surveillance went fully mainstream in Australia.
Don’t panic, though. It’s not like they will actually be listening in to everything you say or reading your facebook status updates, or watching you as you buy ice from your friendly street-corner dealer. No. They don’t need to. They will only have access to your metadata; ALL the data about ALL your data.
And also, don’t panic, because it’s not like we didn’t already know that total surveillance was possible before today. Snowden leaks, anybody?
On a brighter note, journalists who might like to protect their sources are saved from instant access to their metadata by the need for a warrant before access is granted, unless the reason is declared an ’emergency’, in which case the spooks can just draw up their own warrant anyway. Wow. That’s really going to prevent any abuse of these new laws…
And just so we all sleep soundly tonight, in full knowledge that our overlords know exactly what they’re up to, I provide the following video, which provides great comfort about how much the head legal eagle of the entire nation knows about metadata and his own bullshit laws:
See? It’s totally OK. We are in safe hands. There is absolutely no need to head down to your library or internet café to research TOR, or VPN’s or encryption apps. This is just a new, broader, updated, and totally internet-savvy catch-all version of ECHELON…
It’s all good.
We’ll be fine.
Yours under the watchful eye,